For the sake of love and faithfulness

I have faced much pain in this brink of death
Each day I am tested but my faith prevails
I am a sheep taken care by the shepherd
Henceforth, I will always take another step

I did not bail even when Im afraid to fail
I stood still even when i think of running away
I felt like a soldier charging in the battle
I have worn the armour yet i still tremble

To swing my blade against any attackers
The first blow didn’t scare them away
I continue even when I was discouraged
I didn’t quit even when it seems impossible

Sooner or later victory shall be claimed
I may encounter pain at a thousandth step
But my faith won’t waver every step I take
For in my prayers, I was given such strength

In spite of the sting of the blade of distress
I have shown courage and persistence
All of this sufferings I have experienced
I press on, for the sake of love and faithfulness

~M.Salonga

Step of Faith

The days have grown longer
and fonder of my emptiness
when I wake up on a new day
I only feel loathe and despair
I am hopeless and a loser
I miss the days of excitement

I have been given happiness
and it has been taken away
A season of my life has ended
a frightening new chapter entered
to take journey up the mountains
To bear the pain of new heartbreaks

my fear is awfully widespread
my faith feels smaller than ever
and I keep asking what happened
to my unwavering commitment
I want to finish the life that is given
but I am afraid of what is ahead

Oh look, I am sentence to death
burdened beyond my strength
fell down to my knees and wept
I prayed prayers to the heavens
I am seeking in my emptiness
knocking loud in the silence

the doors have widely opened
and I entered a room with rivers
I see my reflection in the waters
a great voice speaks, i heard
what is in you is the answer
remember the picture of grace

remember to keep eating my bread
you’ll be sustained and strengthened
I have build a fortress in the fire
take refuge and endure the battle
It is I, It is I, who will conquer
for what is in you is the answer

rely not on yourself beloved
for I am giving you more of myself
remember I have never left you
what is in you is the answer
take a step of faith in the battle
for in your hands, I have delivered

~M. Salonga

To the One Who Truly Loves Me

In the beginning you have seen me beautifully
I can’t understand why you married me
when others are much more fit and skilled
when there are days I have whored and cheat

You know how low I am in this atmosphere
I wasted the days and time of our relationship
I keep on thinking if there’s still an opportunity
But woe to me, for I know how you hate sin

I act out of deception, I went away to be merry,
I have befriend the beasts of the field
thinking that we would make a good deal
but they ended up consuming my everything

Now, I am less than nothing, I was manipulative
I lie after another lie, I cheat my way to win,
prostituted myself to see milk and honey
Oh my foolishness got me to the deepest pit

Here I am, trapped and staring at an ugly scenery
looking at darkness, ashamed, sorry, and empty
thinking of the day you looked at me beautifully
it got me to my knees and poured out tears

then there you are bailing me out of this heap
not knowing you were chasing after me publicly
even when others are much more fit and skilled
even though you know Im a whore and a cheat

You gave up everything just so you could have me
Oh this weight of love is overcoming me!
how could I comprehend this news of mercy?
I do not deserve it yet you have shown it to me

then I heard your voice, calm, serene, and still
call me your husband once again” he said tenderly
“never go back and start anew with me
“I will make you lie down in my safety”

Stirred in the love that is high, wide, and deep
So I stand up on my feet and run, run to him
to run and lean to the one who truly loves me
for there is no love like this, yes a happy ending

 

~ M. Salonga

Plead My Cause

Oh hear, I continue to plead my cause
Oh tears, how long will I be in this chaos?
this deep black hole feeds my soul
In the wilderness I’ve been belaboured

How could I bear this crown full of thorns?
I question situations but it is still you I follow
I do shrink back at times but I press on
In the wilderness I’ve been belaboured

I try to keep oneself unstained from this world
In this purification I plead my cause once more
Even when I lose I know all things will unfold
In the wilderness I’ve been belaboured

As the devil keeps bombarding my soul
I grew weary, I know God will plead my cause
to plead my cause once more, once and for all
In the wilderness I have found a saviour

Oh dearest, continue to rise as I fall
lean on the fullness of the glory of the Lord
you will go farther along with compassion
I will be with you in the inferno of firestorm

As I fall, I will rise my kingdom shall be known
Continue to write for this hope is shown
Even when there is no reason to hope
Continue to hope for all things will unfold

~M. Salonga

I Would Be With You Again

I long for the day I would be with you again
though Im in the midst of the war I will be confident
You’ve told me you’ll be coming back so I wait
It is your will to let me wait and rest in your embrace
For I only trust in your heart and nothing else

I know everything will be okay for you are sovereign
there are times i cannot comprehend your ways
but when you intervene I am only amazed
the understanding I have gain change me everyday
even though you are away, your love is evident

Oh gone are the days of my former circumstances
where I lay in my bed and weep bitter prayers
for whatever is to come has already been named
for in my heart you have written your promises
You have filled my existence with such effervescence

Even when you are far away, my love for you grows stronger
Our distant love is an unbreakable kind and it’s the greatest
From three days of separation and on the third day to forever
How incredible, while away, in my toughest struggle, in battle
I still hope for the day I would be with you again

 

~ M. Salonga

Battling against homesickness…

WEDNESDAY, AUSTRALIA – One night, I dreamt of a beautiful dinner date but was suddenly interrupted when I woke up. I saw a beautiful banqueting hall with a specific table and chair just for me and my date. I felt at peace, calm, only thinking of pure and noble love for my date (I somehow felt like I was in my spirit), then my date told me “My beloved, here’s the banquet hall leading to our table for my banner over you is love” (Song of Solomon 2:3-4) and I realise that it wasn’t just a date, it was a wedding and my groom was Jesus. As I was walking the halls leading to our table and chairs. I just woke up. It was interrupted. I did not have the chance to sit, or the chance to see Jesus, or the chance to have a conversation with Jesus. As I woke up, I instantly started thinking about Facebook, Instagram, things to do for the day; To be honest, waking up like that sucks, it was frustrating. I realise how it made me so aware how different the spirit is to my flesh (Galatians 5:17). But, I was also grateful because that was a beautiful vision and radical encounter I had with Jesus.

After a few days, I have felt a huge homesickness and had an urge to go back to the motherland but when I have searched my feelings I didn’t exactly want to go back. It kept me up all night wondering why do I feel so lonely despite my good relationship with my spiritual family here in Australia. I examined deeper, I did some comparisons by weighing the pros and cons, and I have come to the discovery I want to truly go home because I do not belong in this world anymore, I felt like an exile. I couldn’t figure why so I had a conversation with my Mom, who is my mentor, my coach, and of course my role model.

Before talking to my mom, I was stuck for a while feeling lonely. I asked friends what could this be, they told me to pray but in reality I was waiting for answers because I do pray for the struggle I was having; every time I am at my worst I cling to Jesus even more. I do my devotions everyday, I continually go to church every Sunday, I continually pray, I continually never give up on hearing and hearing the word, and interact godly activities . But finally, I opened up to my mom with the experience I was having she finally gave the answer I was looking for. She told me the reason why I was feeling homesick and lonely – It is because, I have finally deprived and emptied my flesh of ungodly activities which my flesh misses and the feelings I am feeling is the perfect reaction for my willingness for obedience for the flesh follows its own while the spirit honours and follows the will of God. She told me how I do not belong to this world anymore (John 15:19) and how I belong to another world which is the kingdom of God that can’t be found in the current world I am in but only through Jesus. I realise it’s the cares of this world that weighs me down and choke me to confusion (Matthew 13:22). So I am grateful for my mom who exposed me this.

Because of that Revelation, I reflected back on the vision God has given me, I realise how much I miss that dream but I also long for the day of His coming back. The wedding He had for me is also for every follower of Jesus. So I would want to share this verse:

Let us rejoice and exult
    and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
    and his Bride has made herself ready (Revelation 19:7)

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. (Revelation 21:2)

10 And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. (Matthew 25:10)

I have learnt that no matter where I go in this world there will always be an emphatic homesickness in me since I had the essence of what its like to be with Jesus. But at the same time, I am grateful for this because without this weakness I wouldn’t be able to understand. I have the similarity with Paul’s experience.

even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)

Finally, while I am still alive I will continue to live in accordance to following the will of the Lord. For I long for the day of His coming as he promised. For even though I am weak He watches over me and takes care of me. My true home is not of this world. Also, I do not fear for the days to come because God is faithful.

Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare. (Jeremiah 29:4-7)

10 “For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[b] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile. (Jeremiah 29:10-14)

Therefore, I do not belong to this world and I don’t have to fight homesickness because it’s normal. In fact, I am embracing it as it reminds me of whom I truly belong to. Now, I would no longer be burdened for it is carried by Jesus and the weight of cynicism has been laid aside. I am now free of this world.

So the world has lost it’s grip on me ~ Tenth Avenue North

In the throne room with him

In wonder, for what do I have in me
what are the promises I treasure and keep
In wonder, how do one receive salvation?
what do I have to deserve the throne?

The promises i received i kept it within
embedded in my heart forever i will sing
I was lured to deception and temptation
but I have built my foundation from stone

When storms come, I stood still
When the consuming fire burns, Im in peace
When the enemies attack, I have salvation
Behold, know the word that I praise, I only rejoice

I am just a mere flesh with a willing spirit
my only desire is to be forever with Him
I think of His steadfast love with adoration
I think of the day He comes with a sword

It might seem dim but He’s renewing everything
Finally, I’ll be in the throne room with him
I’ll keep singing beautiful songs
Forever, I’ll lean on Him all day long

The promises i received i kept it within
embedded in my heart forever i will sing
I think of His steadfast love with adoration
I think of the day He comes with a sword

It might seem dim but He’s renewing everything
Finally, I’ll be in the throne room with him
I’ll keep singing beautiful songs
Forever, I’ll lean on Him all day long

~M.Salonga